THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN GOING THRU A SEPARATION OR DIVORCE

Often times when people are going thru a breakup or divorce, there is a tendency to indulge in undesirable behavior to mask the grief and/or pain. It may seem like a rollercoaster with your emotions going up and down. One minute you think you have overcome the situation and the next minute you are crying and wondering what happened. This can be a turbulent time, but this is normal. This too shall pass. Don’t get involved in undesirable behavior because it could backfire in the long run. Avoid the urge to overspend. This could seriously deplete your cash or leave you with huge credit card debt. This happened to me. I did a lot of shopping which caused me to spend a lot of cash and increase my credit card debt. It is important to try to keep a credit card for emergencies. I took trips to Las Vegas, Las Angeles, and New York. I ended up selling some clothes at a consignment shop to make extra cash.  Do not overindulge in alcohol to numb the pain. This could lead to an addiction, so be careful. Another thing to remember is to not get involved in another relationship too soon. It takes time to heal from the previous relationship. It is estimated that it takes an average of 2 years to go thru the healing process. Some think the best way to get over someone is to get with someone else. This is usually not the case. I made this mistake when I ended a relationship with my childhood sweetheart in my early twenties. I decided to immediately jump into another relationship with a friend of mine. Since I had known him for two years, I figured things would work out. The relationship didn’t last, and I regretted this decision. Key things to remember are don’t deplete your cash, don’t run up credit card debt, don’t overindulge in alcohol. Lastly, don’t get involved in another relationship before you have healed from the previous one. 

By Emmerstine Mackie

Divorce Coach for the Seasoned Woman

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