Starting Over

Now that you are divorced after years of being married, you have to adjust to life on your own.  Life as you knew it no longer exists.  There will be fear and uncertainty, but you can make it.  Take it one day at a time.  You will go through a period of grieving for the loss of your marriage.  Make a vow to come out on the other side as a new independent and better you.  It can take an average of 2 years to go through the healing process.  A divorce coach can assist you with navigating through this turbulent period.  We can help you develop a road map to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.   You don’t have to go it alone.  Do you want to go back to school, find a better job, or start a business?  We can help you with these important decisions and more.  Now is the chance to live your life on your own terms.  You no longer have to think about us as a couple.  Instead, you can focus on you.  What do you want to do with the rest of your life?  This can be a liberating experience, so enjoy it.  As a seasoned woman 50 and older, our kids are usually grown by this time.  This can make it easier to focus on your individual life.  My kids are in their thirties and are a little selfish (my fault).  They are used to being number one in my life. They are slowly getting used to the idea that I am focusing more on myself.

Initially, you may be in denial because the thought of divorce is too overwhelming to bear and you can’t deal with it.  Eventually, your denial may turn to anger and sadness.  Ultimately, the goal is to accept that the divorce is a reality.  You are not alone in this journey.  The divorce rate for the United States is around 53%.  This means that there are many others who are going through or have gone through this process.  Try to understand why the divorce happened and focus on rebuilding your life.  You may be legally free but not emotionally free.  Being emotionally free takes time. Try not to jump into a new relationship too soon.  Give yourself time to heal.  Turn to God and ask him to help you through this. Hopefully, you will be able to let go of the pain and come to a place of forgiveness.  Forgiving does not mean forgetting.  Once you have gone through the healing process, you will be ready to start a new life. You can now focus on the future and let go of the past.  Enjoy being single.  Start planting and fertilizing the seeds for your future!

By Emmerstine Mackie

Divorce Coach for the Seasoned Woman