Mother’s Day is a day to honor mothers. Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs there is. Your relationship may be over, but your children are a good byproduct of that relationship. They will love you when your ex no longer does. They will also prove to be good company when you are grieving over the end of your relationship. As a seasoned woman, your kids are probably grown. They may also be experiencing grief over the breakup. We often feel that the older the children are, the better they will handle the breakup. This is often not the case. Grown children tend to take the breakup just as badly. Oftentimes, we stay together for the sake of the kids. We wait until they are older to divorce. Resentment often builds up between the parents and gets worse over time. In the end, we wish we had left earlier. We think to ourselves, “all those wasted years.” These are years we can’t get back. Don’t cry over spilled milk. You are finally free to live your life on your own terms. The relationship may be over, but your life is just beginning. Try to stay strong for your kids. Keep them out of the middle. Remember, they probably love you and your ex. Don’t try to make them take sides. Mother’s Day will be different going forward. Continue to celebrate it with your children and family. They will always love you and you them. They are a blessing even if you feel that the relationship was a curse. If you think back, it wasn’t all bad. Try to remember the good times and let go of the bad ones. Being bitter does not benefit you. Let go of the anger. Enjoy your children and your life. You still have a lot of living to do. I spent my Mother’s Day with my 100-year-old grandmother, my daughter, and my granddaughter. We had a wonderful time, and I look forward to the next Mother’s Day.
By Emmerstine Hull
Divorce Coach for the “Seasoned Woman”