What constitutes a good relationship?  Now there’s a question to ponder.  Based on who you ask, you will get a variety of responses.  Do 50/50 relationships exist?  Are they realistically 60/40, 70/30, or 80/20?  Do these percentages change throughout the relationship?  Is there such a thing as a 50/50 relationship? Are we delusional to think that there is?  Do any relationships fall in this category?  Maybe a 60/40 relationship is more realistic or a 70/30.  Who would contribute the 60 and who would contribute the 40?   Who would contribute the 70 and who would contribute the 30?  As women, we tend to be more nurturing and giving. We have become accustomed to doing more.  Would you be happy giving the 60 or 70 percent?  Either combination may work if you are happy and satisfied.  Throughout most relationships, the percentage of giving may change.  One partner may give 60% percent and later 40%.  If you are the one always giving the most, then it may be time for a change.  There is a tendency for the other partner to take advantage or not appreciate the partner doing all the giving.  This can lead to one partner feeling unappreciated and resentment may build up over time.  No one likes being treated like a doormat.  Built-up resentment can lead to the demise of a relationship.  I have spoken to couples who have been married for 20, 30, and 40 plus years and asked how they have survived.  Each has said that they have had their ups and downs and have fallen in and out of love over the years.  Some say the key is communication.  Others say it is important to respect one another.  Remember no relationship is perfect.  You have to work at it. If you meet a man who is willing to give 40 percent, this may be the guy for you.  Go back to the list you made of desirable traits you are looking for in a man.  Also, visit the list of undesirable traits you don’t want.  When in doubt, pull the list out to remind yourself.

By Emmerstine Mackie

Divorce Coach for the “Seasoned Woman

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