Decision to Divorce

Is your spouse tap dancing on your last nerve?  Have you been thinking about divorce more and more lately?  Like everything in life, one should have a plan.  Your spouse may already have one.  You just may not know about it yet.  Maybe your marriage can be saved, and things are not as bad as they seem.  In this case, consider seeing a counselor.  If there is no chance that the marriage can be saved, then some serious homework should be done. There are a few things you should possibly consider doing should you decide to go forward.  This is by no means intended to be legal advice.  List all assets obtained during your marriage together and separately and include their balances, monthly payments, and current value if this applies.  This includes homes, retirement and pension accounts, insurance policies, bank accounts, stocks and bonds, and any other valuables.  Know what income is coming into the household and what expenses are going out.  You will also probably need the last 3-5 years of your income tax returns to include W2s, 1099s, etc.  Paystubs can be useful especially if your spouse‚Äôs income has changed drastically from the previous year.  Do you have a will, trust, or prenup agreement?  What are your living expenses?  List any debt that you may have together and separately, such as loans, credit cards, and other debt.  Copies of the records mentioned above would be good things to have. My background is business and accounting, so the steps listed above were an automatic reaction for me. An attorney can assist with these steps if needed.  There may be different ways to get divorced in your state.  Look into the options and cost of each. Make a decision based on your needs. 

January has been called the divorce month.  It has been said that twice as many divorces are filed this month than any other month. Couples tend to experience more friction when they spend extended time together during the holidays especially if they are not currently getting along.  Lastly, what are your goals for the future?  Try to put yourself and your wellbeing first as you navigate through this difficult time.  Divorce can be the page you need to turn to get to the next chapter of your life.  A new beginning could be waiting for you.  Fear of the unknown is worse than the unknown itself.  Weigh your options.  They are probably a lot better than you think. My focus is on helping women age 50 and older emotionally heal during the divorce process and repair their lives so that they are even better once they come out on the other side.  Let me know if I can be of assistance to you.

By Emmerstine Mackie

Divorce Coach for the Seasoned Woman