Adjustments! Adjustments!

Ladies think back.  What were some of the good things about your ex or soon to be ex?  Did he do anything for you that you now miss?  Don’t be mean!  Everyone has some good qualities, even the worst of us.  What did he do for you that you now miss?  What kind of adjustments or changes did you have to make now that he is no longer with you or in your life?  While you are thinking about it, let me give you some examples of my own adjustments.  The biggest, my ex paid all the household bills.  I didn’t know how much anything costs and I liked not having to deal with the headache of paying bills.  I had to adjust to paying my own bills and making sure I didn’t overspend.  This took some time and effort to adjust to.  Now, ladies don’t go and try to look him up!  There were reasons why I left and filed for divorce.  He also took care of the maintenance and repair of my car.  Heck, he even washed it for me!  The few times I had to take my car to the shop, would piss me off.  Yes, I was spoiled.  I didn’t even know how much he paid for my car, how much the monthly payment was, or how much the insurance was.  I know how much the insurance is now and it is not cheap.  The car is paid for, so at least, I don’t have a car note.  Now you know some of the reasons why I stayed so long. 

I can say now after 32 years that he is a better father than he has ever been.  It is never too late.  He even acknowledged his shortcoming in this area.  God is good!  He answers your prayers.  It may not be when you want him to, but he does at the right time.  It took over 30 years for him to answer some of mine.  The kids and I never wanted for anything.  There was mental cruelty at times, but I must admit he had some great qualities.  So, ladies what are some of the good things you miss about your ex or soon to be ex?   What are some of the adjustments or changes you had to make now that he is no longer in your life?  How did you make these adjustments or changes?  What are some of the things you miss?  Don’t say sex!  There’s a pandemic going on, so get that off your mind.  Dating is difficult and scary now.  Have the adjustments or changes you had to make, made you a more independent person?  Then that’s a good thing!  I had never lived on my own.  Here I was almost 60 and had to do this for the first time.  It was one of the scariest things I ever had to do.  Two years later, I have adjusted.  I am doing great. We tend to fear the unknown, but you should continue to be brave and pray daily.  Your life will get better, and you will become stronger.  God has your back.  He has a plan for your life.  Remember, never give up!  Perseverance is the key!  I look forward to your responses.

By Emmerstine Mackie

Divorce Coach for the Seasoned Woman